One of the prominent themes in A Course in Miracles (acim) is about others being your brother. In theory, this sounds really good but it can be difficult to put into practice. It is one thing to love your brother when they are being lovable; but it’s quite another to love them when they’re not. When you make a judgment they’ve done something wrong or harmed you in some way, you won’t be willing to share love with them. The ego will judge them not worthy of love because they have caused you harm. This comes from the original separation and not being worthy of God’s love. You cannot share with another what you think you do not have.
ACIM is clear: No error has occurred. No separation has happened. Because you visually see another body, you assume (judgment) that this person is different, and difference means separation to the ego mind. The illusion of a separate identity is thus made real. Specialness now exists freeing the ego to create a God who will “give” you the special love the other vengeful God denied during the sin of the original separation. Specialness also extends to your brothers whom the ego uses replace the love of the vengeful God.
What does it take to see another as your brother? Let’s break down the components but be aware that even with these understandings, it is going to come down to your willingness to let go of judgment and doing the actual work of undoing the ego.
These special relationships replace the love of God. They can be love or hate relationships, but either way, they are based on the “wrong” or “right” mind of the ego. If you do one little thing an ego judges wrong, it goes from love to hate faster than the blink of an eye. To believe God would do this is to believe the lie of the ego that God is vengeful and He attacks. You would only attack others because you believe the same lie about yourself. These are judgments you must be willing to hand over for correction (forgiveness). Only the ego judges and attacks. You are not your ego.
Absolutely all relationships are special until you choose to make them Holy. You cannot see others as your brother if you are involved in judgment and projection. The darkness blinds you to their light as well as your own. Holy Relationships are used by the Holy Spirit for correction of the mind (forgiveness). This makes the choice to see another as a brother an experience which becomes real.
The only way any relationship becomes a Holy Relationship is, for at least one of you, to be practicing forgiveness. Seeing someone as a brother means doing this even if you are the only one in the relationship willing to relinquish judgment. What you do as cause will be your effect.
Another favorite employed by the ego to keep you from seeing another as your brother is to use your own specialness as a way to increase separation. So long as you see yourself as better, or different, you are considered special. God’s special love will shine on you because you stand out by being unique.
Examples: Taller versus shorter. College degree(s) versus uneducated. Good looking versus ugly. Wealthy versus poor. Healthy versus sick.
The list goes on and on and remember that either side is a trick as both are still the ego mind. You can be unique because of your illness just as much as having your health. Remember, the ego’s judgments are one or the other. It knows no other way.
ACIM clearly points out that you have to give up all judgments of others and everything in this world if you want to go home. As long as you judge yourself or others as being special, or even different, you won’t see everyone else as being a brother. Specialness, by definition, is separation because it makes you unique. Only sameness and oneness exist in Heaven and your brothers are all the same. Judgment hides this from you.
Forgiveness and Guilt:
The Course also makes clear that what you see in another is a projection of your own guilt and therefore, what you need to forgive in yourself. Judgment of a brother keeps you from knowing yourself directly as it distracts you from using your decision maker capabilities for correction. The tirade of judgments is merely showing you what you think you are: A judgmental ego. Every time you judge, this is what you are saying you are. You deny your own truth.
It is really quite simple: Look at your judgments of a brother. Your light and theirs are hidden in judgment. You don’t see what you keep hidden in judgment. Be willing to withdraw from projection and judgment and hand them over to the Holy Spirit for correction (forgiveness). That is doing the work and using the decision maker to choose the other side of the split mind.
Hand over all judgments until you receive correction (forgiveness) and you will find this to be true. You’ll see another as a brother when judgment about them is gone. At that point, separation doesn’t exist because they are seen as the same. Heaven is sameness and oneness.